


the truth's the worst i could do

by chameleonmikey



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5 + 1, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-26
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-18 20:13:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2360834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chameleonmikey/pseuds/chameleonmikey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times Calum thinks he loves Michael and 1 time he says it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. if you asked me to

Calum was enjoying a really nice nap when Michael rudely interrupted him.  
“Caaaaaaal,” Michael whined. “Come play Fifa with me.”  
“No,” Calum said. His voice was muffled from the pillow it was shoved into. “‘M sleeping.”  
“Well obviously you’re not if you’re talking to me, dumbass,” Michael said.

Calum didn’t reply. Michael continued playing Fifa by himself, huffing loudly for attention now and then. It didn’t work, but it didn’t not work either. Calum lay there, pretending to be asleep, listening to his best friend being an idiot.

Michael wasn’t yelling at the TV like he normally did when playing Fifa, and Calum realized maybe it was because Michael thought he was asleep. The quiet sounds coming from the TV nearly lulled Calum to sleep in the end, but before he could lose consciousness, the bed dipped slightly. 

Calum peered out of one eye, and saw Michael crawling towards him hesitantly. Michael looked so timid and shy that it was almost comical.   
“You awake?” Michael said, pausing in his crawl.  
“Mmm,” Calum mumbled.  
“Oh,” Michael said, but he didn’t go away. 

Calum closed his eye, smoshing his face into his pillow even more than it already was. A couple moments later, a pair of arms were wrapping around his body and Michael’s face was nuzzling into his neck.

“What happened to Fifa?” Calum asked.  
“You didn’t want to play,” Michael said.

Calum fell asleep soon after that, his last thoughts somewhere along the lines of how much he loved his best friend.


	2. up all hours, not for the last time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sometimes michael doesn't sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dunno why but i had problems sticking to the same tense as the previous chapter so im sorry if that part is screwed up

Calum found it strange how him and the boys all complain about how tired they are 24/7, but when they have the chance to sleep, they barely do. Well, Calum and Michael barely do. Luke and Ashton normally went to bed at about 10 to spoon or whatever they do. Calum didn’t really want to know. 

Calum himself normally stayed up just because Michael did, because he didn’t like leaving Michael awake by himself. Normally it would be okay, but those nights when Michael decided he’s not going to sleep until 5 in the morning… those are the nights Calum needed to stay up.

So they sat on Michael’s bunk on the tour bus, even though it’s not big enough for the two of them in all practicality. Michael was on his phone, probably on twitter, though it’s angled so Calum can’t see. Calum was just sat kind of watching Michael out of the corner of his eye. 

“Calum,” Michael said after a while. His voice is soft but it still startles Calum.  
“Yeah?” Calum said.  
“Do you wanna go for a walk?” Michael said. Calum just kind of oogled at him.  
“Mikey, it’s like 2 am and I have no idea where we are,” Calum said wearily.   
“That’s half the fun,” Michael said with a grin.

Calum ended up giving in in under 2 minutes of debate, which Michael declares a personal victory. He kind of grumbled when Calum forced him to put on a sweatshirt and swap his booty shorts for jeans, but that stopped as soon as they stepped outside.

Luckily, there were no fans around, so it was just Calum, Michael, and the dark night sky. The street lights illuminated the street slightly, and Calum found himself thinking that Michael looked especially beautiful in that lighting. 

“I want McDonalds,” Michael said after they had walked in silence for about ten minutes. Calum huffed out a laugh, ignoring the warm feeling in his stomach when he caught Michael’s fond expression.  
“Is that what you wanted to go for a walk for?” Calum said in a voice that was meant to sound annoyed but probably contained too much affection for the full effect.   
“Maybe,” Michael said, and he pulled his wallet out of his jeans pocket - a wallet Calum knew hadn’t been in there when Michael had first pulled them on. 

“Idiot,” Calum said, and he ignored the excited squeal Michael made when he pulled out his phone for directions.   
“But you love me,” Michael said. Calum didn’t reply for a while. He didn’t think he could without becoming a gushing mess of i love you too michael so so much i love you.  
“Dunno why,” Calum said eventually, and he thought that was good enough for now.


	3. we will call it time well spent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you want to go on a date because you want to show Lashton up, because you’re bored, or because you want to date me?” Calum finally said.

“Lashton this, Lashton that,” Michael said as he sat down beside Calum on the couch.  
“What are you on about?” Calum said, not even looking up from his phone.  
“Lashton. They’re on a date again,” Michael said. “They’re the ultimate brotp. We should step up our game. Malum for the win.”

Calum didn’t say anything. Sometimes Michael was just too weird and needed a decent silent treatment to sort him out.   
“Calum! We never do anything anymore. We used to be best buddies…” Michael said.  
“I swear to god if you start singing ‘do you want to build a snowman, Michael,” Calum said menacingly.   
“I won’t. Just for you. Because I’m a good one half of our brotp,” Michael said.

Calum nodded his thanks and turned back to him phone. He could see Michael frowning at him out of the corner of his eye but Calum decided to ignore it.   
“Cal,” Michael said.  
“What?” Calum said, though he hadn’t been planning on replying.  
“We should go out on a date,” Michael said.

Calum shot up so his back was straight and coughed violently. He stared at Michael with wide eyes.  
“What?” Calum said again.  
“We should go on a date, like Lashton goes on dates,” Michael said.  
“Lashton doesn’t go on dates. They just hang out without us,” Calum said after he recovered enough to talk.  
“Same thing. We should go on one,” Michael said.

Calum remained silent for a long time. Michael surprisingly didn’t push him.  
“What do you mean by date, Mikey?” Calum said eventually.   
“Like what you take girls on. But not a dinner date, because those are lame. Unless they’re pizza, but we do that all the time, so,” Michael said in a weirdly monotone voice.  
“Oh,” Calum said and then it was silent again.

“Do you want to go on a date because you want to show Lashton up, because you’re bored, or because you want to date me?” Calum finally said.  
It was Michael’s turn to stare at Calum.   
“Does it matter?” Michael said.  
“Kinda, yeah,” Calum said.

“Then let’s go with all three,” Michael said and he stood up, holding out a hand for Calum.  
Calum accepted and Michael pulled him up. Michael had a little bit too much strength in the pull, and for a moment, their chests were pushed against each others. 

Calum didn’t breath until Michael let go of his hand and took a step back.   
“What about a lovely stroll in a lovely park? Or a bowling date?” Michael said as they made their way out the back of their hotel. 

For a moment, Calum found himself thinking about how infuriating and difficult and confusing Michael was. That was until his eyes caught Michael’s, and the bright glow of how excited Michael was about that goddamn date reminded Calum of how much he loved him.


	4. there ain't no shame in taking names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael is really good with fans. Calum's kind of in awe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not really feeling this series but theres only two chapters left and theyre short so ill try and keep updating :)

“Hey!” Michael smiled brightly to the girl next in line. They were at a signing and Calum thought his hand was going to fall off, but if Michael felt the same, he wasn’t letting it show.   
“H-Hi,” the girl croaked out. Calum felt sympathetic towards her - she was crying and he noticed her hand shaking when she handed over her CD.

Michael, however, grabbed her hand and squeezed it reassuringly when he took the CD.   
“Hey, pretty girl, don’t cry. You’re gonna make me cry,” he said with a calming laugh, before letting go to sign the CD. He passed it down the line to Calum who signed it quickly before handing it to Luke. 

Normally, the fan would have moved down the line by now, but this girl was still at Michael. She seemed frozen in shock.  
“Sweetheart, what’s your name?” Michael said.  
“Ally,” the girl managed to get out.  
“Well, it was very nice to meet you, Ally. I love your piercing,” Michel said with his blinding smile, gesturing to her lip.

Ally looked like she was about to dissolve into tears when security asked her nicely to move along. She shot Michael a wide smile and he winked at her and gave her the thumbs up.

“You did good,” Calum whispered to Michael when Ally was gone. Michael turned to Calum and smiled shyly.   
“I just want our fans to be happy,” Michael said simply.   
“Oh,” Calum said because that was all he could bring himself to say.   
Michael shot Calum a questioning smile before turning to the next fan, a boy with bright pink hair.   
“Hey! Your hair is fucking rocking, rude!” Michael said enthusiastically. 

For the next hour or so, Calum took more notice than usual about how good Michael was with the fans. He calmed them down and complimented them and made it seem like they were the famous ones. 

It made Calum’s head dizzy to think about amazing Michael was at it all. Calum wanted nothing more than to pepper Michael in kisses and tell him exactly what he thought, and how he loved Michael for how great he was going, how he loved Michael for being Michael. 

Instead, Calum hugged Michael tightly when they were done, and whispered ‘good job, Mikey,’ before slinking off so he didn’t say anything else. He didn’t notice how flushed Michael’s face got, and how Michael brought his hand up to rub the spot where Calum’s lips had almost met his neck.


	5. cause i've been having all these nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so shit at updating this im so sorry. but this is my fave chapter ive written for this so far awh. one more chapter!

It didn’t happen very often anymore. Calum got a lot better and his nightmares went away. He dreamt of sold out shows and ninja turtles. Michael was happy they weren’t happening all the time anymore, so Calum didn’t tell him they were back. It was only because he was always away from home and sleeping on the tour bus. They would be home soon, so he didn’t want Michael to make a big deal out of it. He hadn’t even had a nightmare in a week or two, so, really, it was fine. 

Calum was in his top bunk in… he didn’t even know where they were. The other boys hadn’t gone to bed yet so Calum had the area to himself. He drifted off slowly, You Me At Six playing softly through his earphones. Before ten minutes had passed, Calum was asleep. 

He didn’t really remember what happened. He remembered that it was lonely and dark but all he really knew is that he was all alone and someone was probably going to kill him. His body had a thin layer of sweat on it and he couldn’t get a hold of his breath. inoutinoutinout. 

Calum hadn’t even realized he was crying until his nose started running. He sniffed loudly and froze, waiting to see if someone had heard him. He couldn’t say he had a cold or something because that would only create more worry than the truth with performing and all. Sure enough, there was the soft sound of feet padding on the floor. 

“Clam?” someone called out. Calum didn’t know who. (Of course he knew it was Michael - he would know that voice anywhere, and who else would call him Clam?)  
“I’m fine,” Calum sniffed. He hadn’t even managed to wipe his face before the curtain to his bunk was pulled back gently. Michael’s face appeared, forehead creased in concern.  
“Cal…” Michael said, and then he was climbing into the bunk, snuggling up to Calum. “What happened?”

Michael wrapped his arms around Calum’s waist and nuzzled his face into Calum’s neck. Calum practically melted into the embrace, letting Michael’s presence calm him down.  
“Nothing,” Calum mumbled when his breathing had evened out enough. “Just a bad dream, not a big deal.”  
“I thought the bad dreams stopped,” Michael said and pressed a kiss to Calum’s shoulder.   
“They had,” Calum said. He was trying desperately not to show how Michael’s affection was affecting him. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Michael asked sincerely. Calum smiled sadly to himself. Michael always asked that question because sometimes Calum’s dreams were clowns chasing him or something, but sometimes they were scarily realistic and he needed to get them off his chest.

“I just… I don’t really remember what actually happened,” Calum said truthfully. “I was just… alone.”   
Michael didn’t say anything for a while. He lazily left kisses all over Calum’s neck and shoulders.  
“Well, you’re not alone anymore, cuzmuffin. I’m here for you, always,” Michael said. His voice was hesitant but Calum barely registered that fact. His brain was too busy being made of fluff.

The two boys lay in comfortable silence. Michael’s chest was pressed into Calum’s back, and Calum never wanted the contact to go away. He could feel Michael’s breathing become more steady and his breath harder on the back of his neck. 

Calum couldn’t help the warmth that was spread through his body. It wasn’t anything sexual. Michael just made him so happy and content. Michael had been there for him since he was a little kid and he always would be there, just like he said. 

“Love you,” Calum said, because he did. It wasn’t the ‘I love you, so desperately, romantically, deeply,’ he wanted to say, but it would do for now. Calum wasn’t expecting a reply anyway. Michael wasn’t asleep, but he was close enough to it that he wouldn’t normally bother acknowledging anything going on around him.

“Love you, too, Clam,” Michael said. The affection laced in his voice made sure that Calum drifted off to dream about unicorns.


	6. somebody like you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I just miss home,” Michael said about five minutes later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took me so long to update i didnt have any inspiration and then i moved from new zealand to canada so u no. sorry for any mistakes and yeah i /think/ this is my first finished chaptered fic so thanks for sticking around for the updates or reading it all in one go or whatever thanks

Michael didn’t get out of bed. That itself wasn’t really that unusual, but the fact that Michael didn’t get out of bed for a whole day was. Calum tried his best not to worry. He sat in the kitchen with Luke and Ashton drinking their respective drinks and eating breakfast in the morning. He went for a run. For lunch, he went out to a cafe and talked to some chill fans. He went to the beach. The whole time he was out, Michael was on the back of his mind. 

By the time he got home at six pm, Michael was still in bed. Luke and Ashton were cuddling on the couch, and as soon as they saw Calum’s worried glance towards Michael’s closed bedroom door, they sat upright.   
“He came out to pee before,” Luke said. 

Calum nodded in acknowledgement but didn’t bother replying. He took off his jacket and beelined straight for Michael’s room. Calum had given Michael his space, but it was night time now and it was totally ridiculous. Well, that, but mostly Calum’s worry meter was off the scale. 

“Michael?” Calum said softly, poking his head in the door.   
“Yeah?” Michael said. His face was shoved into his pillow and his voice was muffled. Michael had somehow managed to curl himself into a ball so small that Calum almost missed him and thought his body was a pile of blankets. 

“I was just checking up on you,” Calum said. “Wanted to make sure you’re okay.”  
“I’m fine, Cal,” Michael said, but Calum didn’t miss the way his voice broke.   
“Yeah, right,” Calum said and let himself in the room. He closed the door softly and crawled to cuddle up to Michael. 

They stayed like that for a long while, Calum’s body wrapped around Michael’s. Calum would have thought that Michael was asleep if it wasn’t for the sniffles every couple of minutes.  
“Michael?” Calum said finally. “You wanna talk about it?”  
Michael didn’t reply. Calum didn’t push it.

“I just miss home,” Michael said about five minutes later. Calum nuzzled his face deeper into Michael’s neck.  
“I know, babe. So do I,” Calum said. 

“No, just. I dunno. I tried to get out of bed today but it wasn’t home and I like, physically couldn’t make myself get up? Dunno,” Michael mumbled.   
“It’s okay,” Calum said. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“No, Cal. Just. I miss my mom and the beaches and the girls and the sun and being home and lazy days and my other friends, because you guys are great but you’re never not around, and just everything,” Michael said.   
“Mikey… you have us. I know we can be suffocating, but we’re here for you, always,” Calum said. 

His heart broke for Michael. He had his own homesickness problems, but despite the punk rock exterior, he knew Michael had it bad too, and was probably affected even worse than he was.   
“I know,” was all Michael said.   
They stayed silent for a long time again. 

Calum fell asleep. When he woke up again, Michael was still in his arms, but there was a blanket pulled over him and his socks and shoes had been removed.   
“Mikey?” Calum asked. His voice was croaky with sleep.   
“Yeah?” Michael said. He sounded wide awake.   
“Did you do… all the bed stuff to me?” Calum said. Michael nodded sheepishly. 

Calum felt his heart swell in adoration. Michael was so good to him. It made his head hurt.   
“I love you,” Calum said.  
“I love you, too,” Michael said and Calum’s heart rate picked up by 100%. Here goes. 

“No, like I really love you. I’m in love with you, Mikey,” Calum said. His words came out fast and tumbled over each other, but by the look on Michael’s face, he had been understood.   
Michael’s eyes were wide with shock and his mouth was hanging open.   
“What?” Michael said dumbly.   
“I’m in love with you, dumbass,” Calum said. 

Michael stared at him. Calum kind of felt like his soul was being examined. Until Michael broke out into a wide smile, red lips stretching to show off his perfect teeth.   
“I’m in love with you, too, Cal-Pal,” Michael said. 

They whispered those words to each other over and over until they fell asleep.   
il they fell asleep.


End file.
